¡Warning for the Missionaries! This email is super long so if you want, it'd be good just to print it out!

Dear Beloved Family & Friends, 

One year down. How did that happen? It seriously feels like it went by super fast but at the same time it feels like I have been in this missionary lifestyle for a very long time. It's crazy how fast time flies. This life is completely different than how my life was before the mission... And I absolutely love being in this life. It feels like I am a different person... the same but different. I know that I have grown a lot in this year I have been here but there are a few things that have really helped me here in the mission which have also changed me into a better person as well. 

Before the mission I was happy. I had a family that loved me and friends that were always there for me in every aspect of my life. I really loved these people and I appreciate what they did for me. Everyone was always good and nice with me... even when often times I was a jerk. I was a kid who did what he was told... and enjoyed the blessings from obedience as I obeyed... I also suffered from guilt when I was disobedient. I learned at a young age that being obedient made me happy and made me free. Thanks to the example of my goodly parents I learned this quickly... now this doesn't meant I was always obedient but it does signify that I usually did what I was told and counseled. Not because I was being commanded or forced to do it, but I understood that I felt much better and could do more things when I was obedient. So I was obedient because I wanted to be obedient not because I was told to do so. My parents taught me that doing good in school was a standard in our family, going to church was a standard, and participating together as a family was a standard (even if that meant that I had to go to Xochitl's dumb dance/choir concerts). My parents taught me this... but then I grew to want to do these things on my own. I would get good grades because I wanted to, I would go to church because I enjoyed going and wanted to be there, and I would participate in family activities because I loved supporting my family and absolutely loved feeling the love in the atmosphere when we were together. I did these things because I understood the importance of these aspects of life. 

Now I did all of these things by myself... of course I had help from a lot of kind, loving influences in my life... but I didn't rely on these influences to have success. I only relied on myself, excelling in school, receiving a testimony in the church, being in the presence of my family, was all based on what I could do as an individual and didn't rely on anyone to help me in these concepts. I felt like I could only be succesful based on what I did and I didn't put my confidence in others to help me out. Now with this in mind... try to imagine how I felt when I messed up, when I sinned, when I fell down, I honestly felt horrible. Like I said, I was a happy person... but got really, really, really angry at nobody but myself. Because I messed up, because I was better than that, and because I knew better. Often times I just would hold all my anger and hatred in until I took it out on the persons most close to me in my life. I wasn't angry with them... but I would be so angry and frustrated with myself that often times it leaked out (or got hydro-pumped) onto the people that meant the most to me. I hated myself... even though I was doing so many great things... I absolutely hated myself for the sinner that I was.

One of the hardest things for me was that people didn't understand how I felt. People looked at all the great things that I was doing and usually only saw these things. My family and close friends would compliment me because I was "such a great a great kid" or I was "such a great example for the other cousins" or that they hope that their kids could turn out to be like me. I absolutely hated hearing these really nice and sincere, heartfelt compliments. I hated it because I never felt worthy for their praise, they all didn't understand me and didn't understand that I have problems. Instead of finding comfort in these words I would get even more angry with myself... because I wa a sinner and I was imperfect.

Well throughout all of my life I knew that I was going to serve a mission. It honestly wasn't a dificult choice because I knew that I would be more happy by being obedient... and was always super excited to go out and serve and do something that I absolutely loved. I was never nervous when thinking about the mission... I was just super excited. Yeah I figured I might miss my family a little bit and miss my closest friends... but the thought never scared or bothered me that I would be super far away from them. Neither did the fact that I might have to learn a new language. I was super excited to serve a mission and knew that it was something that I could handle. I knew that I was going to learn knew things, I knew that it might be tough but I had confidence in myself that I could do it... but I failed to comprehend the scale of the things that I would learn from being in the missionary life.

When I entered the MTC I was super excited and couldn't believe I actually started on the best wo years of my life. I was doing well but I was also aware of my weakness of being impatient and my self-confidence but just kept going. One of my teachers could tell I was struggling  with something but I wouldn't tell her what it was so she told my branch president. My branch presdient was a really nice guy, he reminded me of Gordon B. Hinkley, and I opened up to him a little bit. He then showed me a scripture that has helped me my whole mission. It is found in Doctrine and Covenants 19:16 and reads "For Behold, I, God have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent". This scripture helped me to understand a little more about the atonement of our elder brother Jesus Christ. That he suffered so that I do not have to. That he understands me, he knows that I am impatient, he suffered the guilt and the afflictions that I feel every day and he suffered so that I can get through these things and so that I don't have to suffer.

I then got thrown into the mission field. It felt as if I got catapulted into a whole different world. People drove like maniacs, the streets were full of stray dogs, and people were speaking a language, that I thought I had studied and prepared for but it seemed to me that it was from another planet. The only change that was something that I loved was the food... although different it was so good :) So, I had all these cultural difficulties but then I had to also be a missionary. I had a strict schedule. I had to walk 100 kilometers (because here miles don't exist) every day. I had to be in the presence of someone 24 hours 7 days a week, I had to preach to people in a language that I  couldn't even understand and above all I had to do it and I couldn't fall. I learned quickly that I could no longer just do everything by myself... I learned to rely on my companion. Elder Tucker was great and I learned to put all of my confidence in him. I couldn't speak the language, and he could. I didn't know the lessons, and he did. I wasn't accustomed to the life as a missionary, and he was. He was very patient with me. I would get angry sometimes and snap at him but he would just be patient with me and keep his cool. I needed him and I learned that I couldn't do it alone. I learned to trust in someone other than myself.

When I started the mission I thought that it would be easier than it was in the gospel sense. In my first week in the mission field. We had a baptism. It was awesome! I just kind of figured we would be baptizing a whole bunch and that the people would just be flocking to the waters to follow our savior Jesus Christ. But I learned that it wasn't like that. We weren't baptizing anyone... we didn't even have real investigators to teach. I just felt so hopeless... I didn't feel like I was achieving anything and was so mad at myself for not having "success" these thoughts kept coming back to my head, that I wasn't good enough, that I had to be better, that I wasn't worth enough to have success, that God was punishing me for being a sinner, and that I couldn't do it and wasn't good enough to be a successful missionary.

 Well I ended my training and Elder Tucker finished his mission and returned home... I then recieved my new companion Elder Hernandez. I liked him from the start. He was funny and just seemed super spiritual and he happened to be a really big guy. I called him the Spiritual Giant. Elder Hernandez taught me something that has changed my mission and my life. He taught me the importance of service and the manner of which we should serve. With Elder Tucker, we kind of just did our own thing... we would buy our own food, buy our bus tickets and just clean up after ourselves. Elder Hernandez tried to do everything for me... and it really ticked me off. He would always buy things for me... when I would tell him not to. He would always try and buy my bus ticket for me. He would do the dishes as well. He would cook things for me every single day. He was always worried about how I was and every single night before we would go to sleep, he would ask me if there was something that he could do for me. He ticked me off so much through his acts of kindness. To combat his acts of kindness I started to "serve" him as well. I would cook him food, buy his bus tickets, and even wash his clothes... but the difference between his service and mine was that he was doing it to be kind and because he loved me... I did it to try and not feel like I owed him something or try to put myself on a higher pedestal than my companion. I was so dumb. Well I was angry with him one day because I thought he was being prideful and I just thought he thought he was better than me because he was the Senior Companion even though we had the same time in the mission field. With these thoughts and feelings in mind... I came across a scripture that has really helped me not be so prideful. It is found in Jacob 2, verses 13-19. I read verse 13 and at the end it says "and persecute your brethren because you suppose that ye are better than they." I read this and thought that  had to show this scripture to Elder Hernandez because obviously he thought he was better than me. I then read in 16, this pride of your hearts destroy your sould." I then realized that it was me who needed to change and it was me who had the problem with pride... not my companion. Then in 18-19 it says "But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have a hope in Christ... ye will seek... the intent to do good". After reading this I knew that I needed to change. That my goal should not be to look better than others, that service is not to be balanced out and compared with the service of others. I understood that my goal as a missionary should only be to grow in my testimony of my Savior and then serve others the way he would serve them... with real intent and a sincere heart. That is all. Infact this is the goal that we shyould have in life as well, search the kingdom of god, follow christ, and then srve others with all of your heart. That's it. 

After having this breakthrough I started searving people with real intent... starting with my companion. But even after all of this I still felt unsuccesful. I wasnt baptizing so I felt like I wasn't having success. I then had an interview with President Camarillo at my 5th month mark . He gave me advice that has changed my mission tremendously. I told him that I just felt like after everything I was doing it still wasn't enough... that the people weren't changing and that I wasn't having success... and that I was failing as a missionary. He then turned to a scripture in Matthew 22:37-39 which reads "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great comandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself." He then explained that I do have this love for God and for my neighbors as well... but the love I was lacking was the love for myself. That to become successful meant to love and forgive myself. He then gave me homework. He told me that I needed to read in Preach My Gospel page 10 where it talks about a successful missionary. I have read this section every night since then... I have been trying to learn how to forgive myself and how to serve others since that point in my mission. I have come to realize that the numbers don't matter. The numbers of baptisms do not matter... what matters is if I am trying to do my best to help others come unto Christ and if I feel the Spirit work through me each and every day. This is how I have learned to know if I am a succesful missionary or not. 

I then finished my last change with Elder Hernandez, and most successful change of my mission thus far, with 0 baptisms. After this time with Elder Hernandez I moved to a different area with a new companion. This companion didn't seem to want to be in the mission. Didn't take things seriously and didn't appreciate my haste in trying to be obedient. So I put into pratice what the Spiritual Giant taught me. I served him with all of my heart because I cared for his soul... not because I wanted to make myself look good or weigh the services that we were doing between ourselves. No, I did it because I loved him and I wanted him to have a successful mission. It was tough, but after a while he learned to love me as well.

I then was assigned to be a trainer and received a brand new missionary shipped fresh from the Dominican Republic. I have been trying to serve him as well. I have been trying to help him become familiar with the ways of missionary life. I have been tried with an excessive amount of patience through these last few months trying to help him. I have messed up a few times and I have gotten angry but I am now learning how to express myself in a different way and am learning to be patient with myself as well.

This first year of my mission has been absolutely amazing. I have learned a whole bunch of new things and have grown more than I even realize. I just want to share one more scripture that has helped me... it is found in Jacob 5:21-22 and reads,

 "And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master, How comest though hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard.    And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him, counsel me not; I knew it was a poor spot of ground, wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit."

In this year of my mission I have learned that I am a servant in the vineyard of the Lord. It is not my vineyard and he knows all these things better than I do. I am his servant and what I need to do is serve in his vineyard and listen to his counsel. I have learned to put my trust in him... I no longer am angry with myself. I accept that I have problems, that I am a sinner, and that I am imperfect. But now I understand that it is okay! Christ was perfect so that I don't have to be. I have learned to use the Atonement of my Savior and have learned that I can't do this alone! But with the help of my savior WE together can do anything and that WE can be successful in HIS vineyard. I love you all. I love this work. I love being a missionary and I am super excited to see what the Lord has in store for me in this next year of the mission.

Love you All,

Elder Summers

This week was an awesome week. Elder Francisco is doing really great and we are just working really well together. I honestly didn't know that it was Easter yesterday or anything. We just had Semana Santa [Holy Week] which I didn't really know much about. Pretty much all of the churches down here (especially the Church Católica) focus on the expiación [atonement] of Jesus Christ (more on the death on the cross than anything) for a week. It's actually a pretty cool idea and a different holiday than I have ever celebrated but it was pretty cool. One of the weird (of the many weird things they do) is that they have someone act out what Jesus did. They have some guy get whipped on his back, get a crown of thorns put on his head, and get nailed up on a cross to remember what Jesus did (in my opinion this is really a dumb thing to do, I mean Jesus did it for us so that we don't have too... but it's cool too, I guess). Also Saturday was Sábado Santo. I dont really understand why they do this but they have a tradition to throw water on everybody in the streets this day... although we didn't get wet... we sure did have a fun time avoiding streets with water wars going on.

This week we had a really cool experience. We talked to a muchacho (young man? there's not really a single word for this in English) while waiting for a bus the other day. The bus took forever to come by so we had a whole bunch of time to talk. I listened to all of Ricardo's (the muchacho) plans for his life and he accepted a visit by us. We went to his house and he wasn't there but we talked and shared a message with his older brother Pépe. Pépe was super excited about the restauración [restoration] and is super excited about the Book of Mormon. He also accepted a date to be baptized in the first lesson. Super cool experience and I have really learned that the Lord seems to work through others to get to his chosen people. I love talking to people and hearing about their lives every day. People are very interesting and it's just cool that the gospel really can and does bless everyone's lives in whatever circumstance they are in.

So this week we found a box in our house that was full of ties. Super ugly ties. Well I decided that it'd be a good idea to stop wearing my ties for a little while and just put on a new ugly tie every day (there are about 50 ties). All of the Elders are harassing me everytime they see me about my ugly ties... it's super funny. But it's even more funny because I have gotten more compliments about my "style" in these last few days than in my whole mission... have gotten harassed more in these few days from the other missionaries than I have in my whole mission... it's a trade off but I love it.

Elder Francisco baptized a girl with 8 years this Sunday. It was really a good experience and he was super nervous but did a great job! I love this picture because these hermanas just barely complimented me on my super ugly tie and I just explained to them that I took it out from the Ugly Tie Box. Super funny. I love this family.

I really have just learned that I love this area. I love the people here. I love just talking to all of these people about their lives and really just getting to know them. I love so many members of the church here. We just laugh so much and I just absolutely love them. I will miss this area so much. These people are amazing... this may not be the most beautiful area in the mission... it is actually kind of ugly and full of drugs.... but I absolutely love it and love the people here and will miss them terribly.

This week was awesome and I really am just enjoying my time and know that the Lord is blessing me so much every single day. I love this place, Mexico is crazy but it is so awesome and I really am just used to this kind of life. Love you all, keep strong in the Church. Ill see you in about a year.

Elder Summers

Dear Family,

This week was a really good week! We finally left to work this last Wednesday! Elder Francisco's back is bugging him but he is getting better and we are working now so it's awesome! Well we pretty much had to start searching for new investigadors and pick back up were we left off with the other investigadors. It's been super good. It's crazy the spirit that we have in our lives when we are sharing the gospel. We had a really cool experiance this semana [week] that I wanted to share with you:

Estabamos caminando para una lección y vimos una senora cargando una bolsa muy grande. Fuímos para ayudarle y acceptó nuestra ayuda para cargar la bolsa a su casa y otra bolsa que su niña estaba cargando ahi para su casa también. Empezamos hablar con ella y compartimos un poquito sobre porque le ayudamos y que Dios ama a todas las personas y específicamente que El les ama a ella y su familia. Le invitamos a asistir la iglesia la siguiente dia y dijo que sí y si su niña podria ir tambien. Pues, pasamos por ellas y fuimos a la capilla con ella y su niña. Cuando llegamos a la capilla nos sentamos con ellas por un momento tratando a decidir quien podria sentarse con ellas... mientras una hermana le saludo y les invitó a sentarse con ella y una otra hermana. Despues la reunion sacramental una hermana explicó sobre la primaria y llevó su hija ahí  con las otras niñas y despues fué a principios del evangelio con ella. Despues las hermanas le invitaron a la Sociedad de Socorro. Ella participó en la clase y le gustó mucho lo que enseñamos ahi en la capilla. Y su niña estaba muy feliz también y ellas dos quieren asistir otra vez, Entonces pusimos una fecha para volver a su casa para enseñarles más. Esta experiencia fue muy maravillosa porque fue exactamente que necesitaba pasar para ella a sentir a gusto ahi en la capilla y sentir el amor de las demas hermanas en la Sociedad de Socorro y también en la primaria.

So I totally just copied and pasted this experience from a letter that I sent the the President of the Mission... and kind of forgot that I wrote it all in Spanish. I don't really have time to write much that I got to go (so I don't know if you can help translate it Dad... or if we just let all of the Spanish speakers enjoy it or what). Sorry I just don't have time!

[And because Keegan mentioned it, here's the translation... We were walking to a lesson and saw a lady carrying a large bag. We offered our help and she accepted. We carried the bag she was carrying, along with another bag that her little girl was carrying, to their home. We started talking with her and shared a little bit about why we helped and that God loves everyone and specifically that He loves her and her family. We invited her to attend church the next day and she said yes and asked if her little girl could go too. The next day we stopped by and picked her and her daughter up on the way to church. When we got to the chapel, we sat with her for a minute trying to decide on which sister might be able to sit with her... meanwhile, another sister said hello and invited her to come sit by her and another sister. After Sacrament meeting,  a sister explained about primary and took her daughter to primary with the other girls and then she went to the gospel principles class. After that the sisters invited her to go to Relief Society. She participated in the class and really liked what was taught at church. Her daughter was very happy too and they both want to go again. So, we made an appointment to return to their home to teach them some more. This was a marvelous experience because it was exactly what she needed to feel comfortable at church and feel the love of other sisters in Relief Society and also in the primary.]

This week was great and we ended up having three investigadors in the Sacrament meeting after not having any investigador there for the last 3 weeks. So awesome! The church is true and Elder Francisco and I are going to go put some Baptisimal Dates this week! I just love the people here!

Love you all,
Elder Summers

Familia,

I am going crazy! I am so ready to go out and work. It has been a very long week. The doctor has given the okay for my companion to go back to work this Wednesday but even then to play it smart. It's been really nice having study time... I love the Book of Mormon, New Testament, and Jesus the Christ. I seem to have grown spiritually in this last week but now I just want to go out and work. Something that has been kind of tough for me is serving my companion. I have always served him and I really do love serving but something that has been hard is that he wasn't really showing gratitude. I was serving him for a long time every single day and didn't ever hear a "Gracias". I know its super tough for him, but it's been hard just because I'm the only one there for him to take his anger out on. He is far away from home, new to the misionary life, and just had surgery. Obviously he might be a little emotionally unbalanced... and I have been the one there to have him take it out on. It's been tough... but I have kept my temper and just keep serving. It reminds me of before the mission when I would just get super angry at something and then I would be rude to everyone else around me. It's dumb. I don't know why I didn't realize that it makes the other people feel terrible. Things have been getting a lot better and Elder Francisco says thanks and really has told me he has appreciated what I am doing... but honestly that isn't what I should look for when serving. That is never, ever, ever what we should look for while serving other people. It should be because we love them and we shouldn't expect anything back. President Camarillo explained that to me very directly in this last letter he wrote me. A lot of the time we get all caught up with trying to measure the good deeds with other people... it's a trap. Don't do it.... it will just end up hurting you and the person you should be serving. That is something that I am learning on the mission... service without expecting anything back. Just think about what Christ did... He served everyone all of the time. He suffered everything for us. Even though He knew that the Jews were going to torture and kill Him... He served them all the way to His death... He suffered for all of their sins knowing that they were going to kill Him the next day... that is service!

General Conference was good. I got to see all of the sessions and I absolutely love General Conference. I enjoyed the Priesthood Session a whole bunch this session. For one thing, I got to hear it in English and the rest of the sessions were in Spanish. Although I understand Spanish, It makes conference so much better when you can actually hear the actual voice of the prophets rather than the monotone of the translator's voice.

This we had a couple visit the ward from the U.S. named Hermano and Hermana Brant. They live in Chicago but came down to visit family here in Guadalajara. Even though they don't even live here they have been helping out with the work. They gave us a reference and Hermano Brant is going to go with us tonight to teach the reference about the Gospel. They are a great example to us that we should always look for opportunities to share the gospel. They also gave me that tie :D

We made some good food for lunch today. Papas, lechuga, salchicha, chile de arbol, cebolla, y queso... que rico! And the trash in the background... the garbage man hasn't passed in a while, so just calm down... we'll get it taken care of :)

You asked about how often we get to go to the temple but the Guadalajara temple is actually out of our mission so we aren't authorized to go. We have only gone there for special conferences because it has the biggest chapel in Guadalajara. And the temple in Guadalajara is super tiny too - probably similar to the Monticello temple.

Love you all,
Elder Summers

P.S. Will Xander just get those papers in already!? Just a reminder, I received my call December 4th and didn't leave until May 1st. The faster he gets them in, the faster he will get out - especially if he wants to leave by July 1st. He's got to get those taken care of soon (If you couldn't tell I am also excited to hear where he will be serving)